Last Sunday's Sermon

Introduction: During high school, I was a part of the debate team. I was on the debate team because my friends were on the debate team. It certainly wasn’t a way to get girls. I can’t even say that I enjoyed it all that much. But, I did learn a few things. I learned the importance of presenting a clear argument, along with providing clear and relevant evidence to back up the argument. Most importantly, I learned the importance of winning an argument.

Well, the debater’s mentality doesn’t work all the time. Bishop Janice Riggle Huie says, "In much of the Western world, results are measured in terms of winners and losers. Holy Conferencing does not work that way. It focuses on discerning where God is leading us. It focuses on prayer, rational and respectful conversation, and a belief that with God, all things are possible." In a church community, we will often come together and we may disagree. It is important for us to take pause and think about how we interact with one another. Holy, or Christian, Conferencing is a practice of drawing closer to God as we listen and grow together.

Movement 1: Those who were followers of Jesus allowed their interactions with one another to be guided by forgiveness. Those who were part of the people of God would allow love to be their guide. This community would be clothed the qualities that would show them to be followers of Christ.

• We are asked to show forgiveness to one another the way that Jesus showed forgiveness to us.
  • When we think of the forgiveness that Jesus showed for us, the bar is set very high.

-         Jesus died for the sins of everyone.

-         No sin, no matter how grievous or socially unacceptable was left out. That sin was forgiven.

-         No person, no matter frustrating or socially outcast was left out.

-         Jesus paid the ultimate price to do this selfless act for all of humanity.

• Our lives are to emulate Jesus’ level of forgiveness; that is how we are to treat one another.

-          It makes any conflict or disagreement that we might have and makes it seem insignificant next to Jesus’ actions on our behalf.

-         One commentator said your guide should be that whenever there is a disagreement, the question you need to ask is, “Is this worth losing peace over?”

-         It would be easier to forgive one another than to harbor that anger frustration.

-         That can be hard to do, but Paul adds love to this need for forgiveness.

• Similarly, we are to allow love to be our guide in our interactions with one another.
  • I want to again emphasize that in the Greek language there were various words for love.

-         Eros: this is a passionate love, or attraction toward someone else, with sensual desire and longing

-         Philia: a dispassionate virtuous love; loyalty to friends, family and community

-         Agape: true love, embodied in God’s love for us; it is an unconditional love in which others are elevated

• Agape love is what is being emphasized here.

-         We are to love one another is way that we selflessly are acting to elevate others.

-         We forget thinking about ourselves and thinking more about the status of others.

-         Our conversations and our actions are for the betterment of other people.

-         This all sounds really easy, but it a practical sense I struggle with how this works.

• With love and forgiveness, are to interact with the peace of Christ. How exactly can we do this when we may so strongly disagree?

Movement 2: The worldwide United Methodist Church using this scripture as a basis Holy, or Christian, conferencing. These rules are helpful as we think about the conversations that we will have for one another. “We can change the world through honest conversation on matters which we are passionate.

• Every person is a child of God. Always speak respectfully. One can disagree without being disagreeable.
  • The importance of listen is strongly emphasized.

-         Active listening is a skill that I think every one of us could use a little bit more work.

-         In a conversation, we need to place an emphasis on truly hearing, listening and understanding what the other person or people in the conversation are saying.

-         Do you ever find yourself not really paying attention to what another person is saying because you are preparing your next statement or your next argument?

-         A good dialogue begins by actually listening!

-         We must be at peace and honor what the other person has to say.

• Strive to understand the experience out of which others have arrived at their views.

-         Each of us came to be who we are through unique circumstances.

-         Not all of us were raised the same way, in the same place and with the same background.

-         To ignore these differences is to not honor a person for whom they are.

-         Only when we fully understand the other person can discussion, and relationship, grow.

• Remember that people are defined, ultimately, by their relationship with God—not by the flaws we discover, or think we discover, in their views or actions.
  • The point of a discussion is not to win!

-         In Eugene Pedersen’s The Message translation, he paraphrases Paul by writing, “Be even-tempered, content with second place.”

-         This is something that definitely comes hard for me. I will be honest, I often want to win or feel as though I have “won” a discussion.

-         Paul tells us the point of discussion is not for the sake of triumphing over the thoughts and opinions of other people.

• The point of our discussion is so that we might come to a better understanding of one another.

-         Ultimately, the guidelines for holy conferencing place an emphasis on understanding others’ walks with God.

-         We realize that all of our walks with God, and how our circumstances have influenced that walk, be so different.

-         Doing things that way, everyone comes away more informed and will hopefully have learned about a different perspective.

Movement 3: These rules for Holy Conferencing are important for us here at our own churches as well. Certainly we realize that we will not all agree on all issues of the church. How we acknowledge and work through those differences will say a lot about our church.

• Ultimately, we should seek to be a church that does not exclude any because their beliefs do not necessarily match our own.
  • The United Methodist Judicial Council made a decision informing local congregations that they were not allowed to be a part of an unofficial body or movement within the church.

-         The bulletins for Tabor UMC used to say that they were a “Confessing” Congregation” that was part of the Confessing Movement within the United Methodist Church.

-         The judicial decision says, “Such identification or labeling is divisive.”

-         It takes into account that on any issue, we as individual members have some significant differences on issues social and theological.

-         A membership in the Confessing Movement, or the Reconciling Movement can stifle conversation because assumptions are made about everyone’s beliefs.

• We should welcome a conversation with those with whom we disagree.

-         Any organization is going to have a set of values and policies in which the majority of decision makers will determine the stance.

-         There will be those that agree with those beliefs, and those that disagree and will seek to have them changed.

-         I am sure that we can think of a variety of issues in which we disagree: homosexuality, abortion, stem cell research…to name a few.

-         We shouldn’t shy away from conversation on these issues; we should appreciate any opportunity we have to engage in these conversations.

• This means that our framework for discussion will have to significantly change.
  • We shouldn’t have a fear of worrying about the other person will think of us because of our beliefs.

-         We know that we will continue to love one another despite what might be said.

-         We will not seek a victory in our discussion, because we will be guided by the peace of Christ.

-         If something hurtful is said, we will do our best to let it go because we have the model of Jesus’ forgiveness to look to.

• This won’t come without some work.

-         You get the feeling that this is going to require all of us to make some significant changes in how we view these discussions.

-         It truly is going to require putting on the clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Conclusion: So, I have a challenge for you this week. One time this week (more if you’re up to it), I would like for you to engage in a conversation with someone regarding and issue in which you have difference of opinion. While doing so, I want you to keep in mind Paul’s message from Colossians and I want you to keep in mind the guidelines for Holy Conferencing. It can be your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, classmate, son, daughter, boss…whoever. Let me know how it goes. Send me an email. Send me a text message. Tell me next week at the Bible study or at church. Let’s try having a discussion allowing forgiveness, love and the peace of Christ being our guide.